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As divisions in the United States cleave ever deeper, many Americans are pondering the future of the nation. Below, author T.J. Lang presents a proposal — part satire, part serious — for consideration.
The other day, Satan took control of my remote and locked my TV on CNN, which is apparently his favorite channel. Even though I was concerned for my blood pressure, I hung in there for a few minutes. For a moment, I considered holding my breath until they said something that was actually true, but then, not being suicidal, I decided not to.
It didn't take long to come to the realization that these people don't want to have me in their country. They don't want to hear what I have to say, and they don't want anyone else to hear what I have to say. In fact, they despise me. I am a "deplorable" and an "irredeemable," as the now irrelevant Crooked Hillary once pointed out.
Watching CNN, I quickly came to the conclusion that I felt the same way about them that they feel about me. I don't want to live in the same country as they do either. We are just too different to coexist. Our worldviews are so different that we seem to be on opposite sides of the looking glass. A world and an anti-world. A world with God at the head and a world with man, and therefore Satan, at the head.
Obviously, we can't live together, but what is the solution? Political dialogue seems to have completely failed. They lecture us and we are supposed to shut up and listen. The enmity is getting worse and worse. They have descended into nothing but hatred and don't even attempt to make an intellectual argument anymore, which is pretty telling. If they had one, I'm sure they would trot it out. All they do is call us racists and Nazis and homophobes and Islamaphobes and phobiaphobes. How can our country survive these people? I don't think it can.
Then it hit me. There is a solution — a radical one, but one which actually does have the potential to solve our problem. This may sound crazy, but hear me out. What if we split the country into two completely separate entities? Or maybe even more? Of course, the geographical realities of such a solution are more than a little challenging, but we could probably work out an equitable solution. After all, absolutely nothing could be worse than the current situation. Assuming that the geography could be worked out, how would we go about this?
Let's say that on Jan. 1, 2021, every citizen is required to proclaim whether they want to live in the new country of Liblandia, or in the much smaller USA where we conservatives will live. If you live in an area that will be converting to the other country, you would have 2 years to settle your affairs and move. You could sell your property to someone who was immigrating into the area, you know, one of those "others." On the first day of 2023, everyone would be required to be settled into their new locations.
We in the smaller (but more pure) USA will employ the existing laws of the current United States, at least to start. The residents of Liblandia will probably want to write a new constitution and develop a more "woke" form of government.
No matter what problem they confront, from hangnails to supposed global warming, unencumbered by us pesky realists their solution will be the same — first tax something, anything, then pass legislation and back that up with massive new regulations that reduce personal freedoms. Of course, as a matter of principle and "fairness," Liblandia will have much higher taxes than we will. There is a limit, though, to how much they will tax their citizens. After all, you can't take more than they make. Right? So its 100% minus a few points. "Whatever you make, hand it over because we know far better than you do how to spend your money."
How will the population divide up into the two countries? Well, "all" of the actors and rock stars will want to live in Liblandia. (Note — for the purposes of this article, the term "all" really means around 80%.) While they may have "all" of the entertainers, we will find a way to keep ourselves entertained. Thankfully, we will have country music. Since they will have a separate economy (thank God), we can always buy whatever movies and music they produce, that is if they actually produce something worth buying — something that isn't too vile, filthy or irreverent.
They will have "all" of the university professors, but, we will somehow figure out a way to educate our young, without all of the woke brainwashing. They will have "all" of the union members, but we will figure out how to produce what we need. We will have all of the farmers. They will get all of the welfare recipients and the unwed mothers. Right off the bat, Liblandia will probably get most of the psychologists and psychiatrists, but then they will only be going where they will be more needed.
They will have "all," and in this case I do mean ALL, of the members of BLM and Antifa. Those "mostly peaceful" and non-aptly named paragons of virtue will voluntarily assume the role of the enforcing "wokeness" after whatever is leftover of the real police force is abolished. As an aside, I remember the good ole days when BLM meant Bureau of Land Management. Maybe it will again someday.
On the other hand, we will have all of the people who want to be responsible for supporting themselves. They will have "all" of the government workers, but then they will need FAR more than we will in order to keep their population in line. They will also have all of the illegal aliens and will issue voter ID cards to the 50% that don't already have them.
Once we divide up the country, people will not be allowed to migrate back and forth willy-nilly. (Remember, you did choose!) There will be a rigid but fair immigration practice on the USA side, but probably none on theirs. They will have open borders, which means that their country will be extremely attractive to everyone on the entire planet, at least until they have completely ruined it. After that, overall movement will be from Liblandia rather than to it.
At least until 2027 or so, the Liblandians will be thrilled to be living in a country that is unaffected by even a shred of conservativism. After that, not so much. That means that one of the first things we will have to do on the USA side is build a wall. We will probably have about 3–4 years before the wall will have to be complete, because it won't take much longer than that for their unrestrained liberal policies to absolutely destroy Liblandia. When that happens they are going to try to sneak into the USA. Hence, we need a wall.
They will have their own cable TV stations and their own media outlets, so they will be perfectly capable of lecturing their own people about issues regarding morality, like infanticide and pedophilia. We also will have our own media, which means that we will not have to be lectured on moral issues by people who advocate the murder of babies in their mother's wombs. That alone makes the breakup of our country worthwhile.
Our USA was founded on a belief in God. Liblandia will be founded on a belief in man. Which one will God smile on? Of course, one country will definitely fare better than the other, economically and socially. Any guesses as to which will be which? I would bet that we will compete with them on the world stage and that it won't look like a fair competition. They will rather quickly trend towards the financial and cultural ruination that is the fate of all socialist countries.
So liberals, bring on that revolution that you all want so badly. But know this, if you were honest with yourselves, you would admit that you need us conservatives to protect you from yourselves and from people like Bernie and AOC. And remember this as you keep pushing and pushing us — real Americans can only be pushed so far as the factual history of America amply demonstrates.
To all of you liberals who might take offense at this article, please feel free to do so. You could never be one-tenth as offended as we are at your murdering of babies in their mother's wombs and your deliberate destruction of both the greatest country in the history of the planet and of Western civilization in general.