Every now and then we receive an email that's a real show stopper. We get a flood of emails and can promise you they all get read — but every so often one comes in that says it all.
Of course, the actual subject matter of what the viewer is referring to we, like you, don't find funny at all. But his tongue-in-cheek, sarcastic treatment of it tickled our funny bone. So here is his email — because sometimes you just have to laugh at the all the insanity just to keep your own sanity.
Dear Church Militant,
I attend a very nice parish in a very nice diocese that is shepherded by a very nice bishop.
All of the parishioners at the Parish of Nice are very nice. So as not to offend fellow parishioners who are less fortunate, everyone in the parish has agreed to dress very casually in order to avoid being boastful. As a result, many parishioners attend Mass dressed in beachwear attire. It looks so very nice.
Additionally, a large number of parishioners have volunteered to leave Mass immediately after receiving Holy Communion in order to clear the parking lot for the remainder of parishioners who stay until Mass is officially concluded. It is so very nice of those who volunteer.
Our priest, Fr. Nice, is also very nice. He is very careful not to offend any of his parishioners who might be actively involved in homosexual relationships, cohabitation, fornication, divorced and remarried outside the Church, taking contraception, or considering having an abortion. It is so nice of him to be considerate of others by withholding official Church teachings.
Instead he tells funny jokes during his homily which sometimes result in applause. Attending Fr. Nice's Mass is very nice.
At the conclusion of the Mass, parishioners evacuate the church building as quickly as possible in order to make room for the next Mass, which is very nice. As they hurriedly depart, they are nice enough not to kneel, bow or acknowledge the Tabernacle in any way, as doing so would obstruct the evacuation. This is so very nice.
Attending Mass at the Parish of Nice in the Diocese of Nice with Fr. Nice and Bishop Nice is very nice.
Have a nice day!